Friday, 1 May 2009

Things never go to plan do they?

After a delayed meeting (cancelled and moved forward a week) I have just heard that the girls will not be placed with me.

They are being separated.

Lil Sis has been matched with an adopter.

For Big Sis they had two foster carers lined up (myself and one other). They have decided to place her with me, and have asked if I would consider adoption, or SGO (special guardianship order).

I am incredibly happy that I have finally been matched with a child. I will do my absolute best for this little girl. The SW said all she really needs is a mummy and lots of love. I can give that, and so much more!

But I'm feeling sad.

Sad that they're splitting the sisters when I thought I could manage them both together. And sad because I think I might have been a reason behind their decision to seperate.

When I heard on Monday that they had an adopter lined up for Lil Sis but not Big Sis it broke my heart. The SW was already talking like they might be splitting them and I asked why they'd not identified an adopter for Big Sis. She said it was because no adopters had come forward. This really played on my mind. She has more issues than the rest of her siblings, and then to be the only one who wasn't being adopted, I just couldn't stand it. I called her back asked if I could be considered as an adopter for Big Sis...

So today the decision is to split. Lil Sis will go to her adopter and I have been asked if I will still consider adopting Big Sis. I have told them I am very happy to discuss it, and as long as it doesn't mean Big Sis will lose out on the support she needs, and as long as I can afford it, then it's definitely an option in my mind.

But, as another foster carer pointed out to me after I'd put my name forward, perhaps having two (possible) adopters was the easy way out for social services? Perhaps they didn't even think about placing both together, as the two being adopted saves them so much money. Have they really done what's best for the girls, or chosen the most cost effective route for the local authority?

I guess I'll never know, but I really hope this decision was made with the girls' best interests at heart.

Sunday, 29 March 2009

Good news at last!!!!

I finally met with the social workers of the two girls last Friday. It was amazing. They came here talking about not being able to find a family who could manage both of the girls together due to their individual needs and issues within their relationship. They left an hour an a half later promising to send further information and to confirm within 3 weeks that they would be placing both children with me!

My teaching and childminding experiences together with my committment to these children convinced the SWs that I can do this, and it really is the best feeling. To be able to keep these sisters together means so much to me.

Towards the end of the meeting they began discussing timescales, and it looks like I will be meeting the girls mid May for introductions, with a moving in date sometime during the last week of May. If it all goes to plan, the girls will be with us in just 9 weeks time!

Monday, 23 March 2009

No news

It's just gone 8pm and I've not heard anything about the placement this evening. I had a call at 3pm informing me the case was still in court and thought they'd call back with the outcome. I'm sure they must have finished by now, so I guess that means the kids aren't coming. I'm a teensy bit disappointed, but it does make things a lot more straight forward. Just this Friday to worry about now!

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

So typical!

After the cancellation of the visit in February about my two girls, I have finally had confirmation of a new date - Friday 27th March. I have my fingers and toes crossed that it will all go smoothly this time and actually take place!

So, with my hopes up for next week, what happened today? I got a call from my agency saying I had been specifically requested for a placement that might happen next week (the case is in court on Monday). It's for 3 children aged 5, 4 and 10 months.

Not only will that be total chaos if it happens, I'm now all worried what it might mean for my girls. I've been waiting all this time and really have my heart set on them, so it's just so typical of this process for something like this to happen.

Had it been any other time I'd have been over the moon to get such news, but right now I'm kind of hoping it goes the way it always has in the past and they don't place them with me. But if that happens, I probably won't get my girls either!

Thursday, 26 February 2009


Today was the day the social workers were coming to visit me about the girls. I was so ready for it.

Then I got a call from my agency, an hour before they were due to arrive, saying that an emergency had arisen and the girls SW had to cancel.

I am so deflated, frustrated, disappointed by this whole thing :(

Friday, 13 February 2009

I have a date!!

No, sadly not a valentines one, lol...

Even better than that :D

The girls social worker and family finder are coming to meet with me on Thursday 26th February!!!

I can't wait!!

Thursday, 5 February 2009

A quick update

I waited until Tuesday afternoon and couldn't bear it any longer, so called the family finding social worker. She was in the middle of something important but didn't mind giving me a quick update :D

She had gone to the meeting the previous Friday to request that separate placements be sought for the girls. They came back with the decision that they must continue to look for a family to place both girls together until April (although she said she wanted to spend this time ruling out all families as she didn't think it was in the girls' best interests).

She explained that calling my link worker was on her list of things to do, and she would get round to it in the next week or so. And once they've spoken she wants to arrange to visit me with the girls' social worker. This will hopefully be sometime this month.

It seems to me that she is quite keen to meet me about the older girl, and also said that perhaps I'd impress them enough that they'd consider me for both girls together.

So I'm going to do everything I can to impress them. She mentioned therapeutic parenting, so I've ordered books on this. She's spoken about the sibling bond so I'm looking into that too. I've gone through their profile and noted how I'd match each of the points. I've called local schools to see where there are spaces, I'm going to write up lists of things to do and places to visit, I'm printing out houserules and daily timetables so they know I'm organised and can manage with three children.

And if anyone has any thoughts, ideas, online articles, book recommendations, anything to help me get my girls, please let me know! :D