Becoming a foster family

Things never go to plan do they?

2009-05-01T17:13:00.003+01:00

After a delayed meeting (cancelled and moved forward a week) I have just heard that the girls will not be placed with me.

They are being separated.

Lil Sis has been matched with an adopter.

For Big Sis they had two foster carers lined up (myself and one other). They have decided to place her with me, and have asked if I would consider adoption, or SGO (special guardianship order).

I am incredibly happy that I have finally been matched with a child. I will do my absolute best for this little girl. The SW said all she really needs is a mummy and lots of love. I can give that, and so much more!

But I'm feeling sad.

Sad that they're splitting the sisters when I thought I could manage them both together. And sad because I think I might have been a reason behind their decision to seperate.

When I heard on Monday that they had an adopter lined up for Lil Sis but not Big Sis it broke my heart. The SW was already talking like they might be splitting them and I asked why they'd not identified an adopter for Big Sis. She said it was because no adopters had come forward. This really played on my mind. She has more issues than the rest of her siblings, and then to be the only one who wasn't being adopted, I just couldn't stand it. I called her back asked if I could be considered as an adopter for Big Sis...

So today the decision is to split. Lil Sis will go to her adopter and I have been asked if I will still consider adopting Big Sis. I have told them I am very happy to discuss it, and as long as it doesn't mean Big Sis will lose out on the support she needs, and as long as I can afford it, then it's definitely an option in my mind.

But, as another foster carer pointed out to me after I'd put my name forward, perhaps having two (possible) adopters was the easy way out for social services? Perhaps they didn't even think about placing both together, as the two being adopted saves them so much money. Have they really done what's best for the girls, or chosen the most cost effective route for the local authority?

I guess I'll never know, but I really hope this decision was made with the girls' best interests at heart.

Good news at last!!!!

2009-03-29T21:12:00.003+01:00

I finally met with the social workers of the two girls last Friday. It was amazing. They came here talking about not being able to find a family who could manage both of the girls together due to their individual needs and issues within their relationship. They left an hour an a half later promising to send further information and to confirm within 3 weeks that they would be placing both children with me!

My teaching and childminding experiences together with my committment to these children convinced the SWs that I can do this, and it really is the best feeling. To be able to keep these sisters together means so much to me.

Towards the end of the meeting they began discussing timescales, and it looks like I will be meeting the girls mid May for introductions, with a moving in date sometime during the last week of May. If it all goes to plan, the girls will be with us in just 9 weeks time!

No news

2009-03-23T20:06:00.000Z

It's just gone 8pm and I've not heard anything about the placement this evening. I had a call at 3pm informing me the case was still in court and thought they'd call back with the outcome. I'm sure they must have finished by now, so I guess that means the kids aren't coming. I'm a teensy bit disappointed, but it does make things a lot more straight forward. Just this Friday to worry about now!

So typical!

2009-03-18T17:50:00.002Z

After the cancellation of the visit in February about my two girls, I have finally had confirmation of a new date - Friday 27th March. I have my fingers and toes crossed that it will all go smoothly this time and actually take place!

So, with my hopes up for next week, what happened today? I got a call from my agency saying I had been specifically requested for a placement that might happen next week (the case is in court on Monday). It's for 3 children aged 5, 4 and 10 months.

Not only will that be total chaos if it happens, I'm now all worried what it might mean for my girls. I've been waiting all this time and really have my heart set on them, so it's just so typical of this process for something like this to happen.

Had it been any other time I'd have been over the moon to get such news, but right now I'm kind of hoping it goes the way it always has in the past and they don't place them with me. But if that happens, I probably won't get my girls either!

Disappointed

2009-02-26T10:01:00.002Z

Today was the day the social workers were coming to visit me about the girls. I was so ready for it.

Then I got a call from my agency, an hour before they were due to arrive, saying that an emergency had arisen and the girls SW had to cancel.

I am so deflated, frustrated, disappointed by this whole thing :(

I have a date!!

2009-02-13T21:20:00.002Z

No, sadly not a valentines one, lol...

Even better than that :D

The girls social worker and family finder are coming to meet with me on Thursday 26th February!!!

I can't wait!!

A quick update

2009-02-05T19:28:00.002Z

I waited until Tuesday afternoon and couldn't bear it any longer, so called the family finding social worker. She was in the middle of something important but didn't mind giving me a quick update :D

She had gone to the meeting the previous Friday to request that separate placements be sought for the girls. They came back with the decision that they must continue to look for a family to place both girls together until April (although she said she wanted to spend this time ruling out all families as she didn't think it was in the girls' best interests).

She explained that calling my link worker was on her list of things to do, and she would get round to it in the next week or so. And once they've spoken she wants to arrange to visit me with the girls' social worker. This will hopefully be sometime this month.

It seems to me that she is quite keen to meet me about the older girl, and also said that perhaps I'd impress them enough that they'd consider me for both girls together.

So I'm going to do everything I can to impress them. She mentioned therapeutic parenting, so I've ordered books on this. She's spoken about the sibling bond so I'm looking into that too. I've gone through their profile and noted how I'd match each of the points. I've called local schools to see where there are spaces, I'm going to write up lists of things to do and places to visit, I'm printing out houserules and daily timetables so they know I'm organised and can manage with three children.

And if anyone has any thoughts, ideas, online articles, book recommendations, anything to help me get my girls, please let me know! :D

Snowed under!

2009-02-02T15:17:00.002Z

We woke up this morning to 7 inches of snow, and it hasn't stopped all day! The schools were shut but I didn't get the day off as I had to look after 2 little'uns. Here's my daughter and one of the kids enjoying the snow...

No news is good news?

2009-02-01T09:43:00.002Z

It does seem to be the case with this social worker.

I start worrying because I haven't heard anything and then we get an update that things are still plodding onwards. So I'm hoping that the reason we didn't hear anything after their meeting on Friday is because she was out of the office all day, or went home early as it was a Friday, or was just too busy to call...

And I'm going to keep on hoping that she will call early next week (Tuesday maybe!) with the good news I have been waiting for all this time.

Fingers crossed!

2009-01-29T19:54:00.002Z

Tomorrow is the date the team are meeting to discuss the plan for my possible match. My link worker said they should then contact us with a date to visit and we'll see if this is going to happen...

I really hope I have some good news to post tomorrow evening :)

A new addition to the family :)

2009-01-25T13:18:00.005Z

Introducing Daisy, the newest member of our family...

She's the most gorgeous 6 month old tabby cat - I spotted the ad to rehome her the other day and as we happened to be going to the town where she was, I thought we might as well pop in to see her... I had no idea we'd end up bringing her home with us! She's so playful, and used to children, so she's fab with T and the children I mind. And it's made T so happy, she was getting quite bored and lonely on the days we don't have children here, but now she has her little playmate to keep her company. I can hear her talking to her right now and it's so sweet! :D

Wooooooo hooooooooooooo!!

2009-01-20T10:50:00.000Z

Just had a call asking if I'm still interested in long term fostering the girls (well, one of them, as they're now splitting them up to better meet their needs) and if so, they'd like to meet with me!!!

I'm so excited, this is the call I was hoping for. It might be a couple of weeks before I hear any more, but I'm so happy it might actually really be happening at last!!

(And it was another Tuesday call too... spooky! lol)

TV time

2008-12-21T21:32:00.005Z

I was thinking how plain my blog looks without any photos, so thought I'd upload a recent pic of my daughter (on the left) and her friend (who is only 4 days older!!) having a wonderful time eating quavers and watching Barney! They're both obsessed with the purple dinosaur and would have sat there all day if we'd let them! :D

There's something about Tuesdays!!

2008-12-09T17:17:00.000Z

It seems to be the day I get my fostering news!

Last Tuesday I had a call about a placement - short term, two little ones not yet at school. I was more than willing to take them but the LA found other carers (as seems to be the case with all of the referrals I hear about).

And today I've heard that the family finder for the two children I've enquired about has requested my Form F - they have not found suitable adopters and therefore will be reviewing things in the new year... and maybe we'll be matched... oh I hope so!

Outcome of annual foster home review, and a little bit of news

2008-11-20T17:57:00.000Z

I recently had my annual review, and panel have agreed to amend the ages I'm approved for, so I can now foster a child, or two children, aged between 3 and 10 (I was initially approved for ages 4 to 7, although I had really wanted any primary school age).

Also, I should expect to hear whether I'll be considered for the siblings I'm hoping to foster long term within the next three weeks.

Other than that, not a lot has been happening on the fostering front!

News at last!

2008-11-05T13:00:00.000Z

I've just received news that the children's SW has been in touch with my agency. It's not quite what I wanted to hear but kind of what I already knew - they will be spending the whole of November looking for an adoptive family for the children, and will look at long term carers after their meeting at the end of the month if a suitable adoptive family isn't found.

I'm tempted to put my name forward as an adopter but I don't know if this is possible, or even if I'd be taken seriously. And then there's the issue of finances. Can a single parent afford three children??!

I just want the best for these kids and think we could be a very good family for them. Their SW seemed to think so too when I spoke to her, but I've now got a month to wait to find out if anyone 'better' has come along.

Still waiting

2008-11-04T22:03:00.002Z

All I've had is calls to say my agency haven't heard anything yet.

I'm no longer hoping for a call in the next few days, I've extended it to the next few weeks. It makes the waiting a bit more bearable.

FosterCareWorld

2008-11-03T09:00:00.000Z

I've been invited to join a very good site for Foster Carers:

http://fostercareworld.ning.com

Come over and take a look!

Still waiting for news

2008-10-28T20:31:00.002Z

My agency have called me twice in two days (loving the contact!) but neither my link worker nor her manager have spoken to the children's social worker. I don't want to appear too pushy but I really want to know more, so have sent the SW an email to give her a gentle nudge and have left my number in case she wants to call me (hint hint). I think things would go a lot quicker if they just used me as the middle man to relay messages, we could be waiting weeks before my link worker and the children's SW are in the office at the same time!!

Cautiously hopeful

2008-10-24T18:26:00.004+01:00

There's been a lot happening here but I've been so fed up with the whole process that I couldn't be bothered to blog it. It's always the same. I get a call about an emergency placement. I get all hopeful that they'll be placed with me. Then something happens and they don't come after all. Then I don't get any calls for a while so I start chasing things up myself from profiles I've seen and no one is interested - there's always a reason, though distance and amount of contact with birth family have been the most common recently. I've been hopeful, nervous, excited for news on at least a dozen kids since I last posted and none of those happened.

I'd exhausted my options in the fostering section on the websites so decided to have a peek at some of the kids that are looking for adoptive families. I'm not approved to adopt but I like to read about the kids and I've learnt a lot from the profiles. There's some kids I see time and time again and it makes me sad how long they've been waiting for a family.

Looking through the listings the other day I spotted a new profile. Two girls, sisters, aged 7 and 8. Everything about them made me wish I was approved to adopt. The kind of family they needed was everything I could offer. It seemed such a shame that the children that could really fit with my family were ones I wouldn't be considered for, and those that need foster placements mostly require two parent families with no younger children.

I revisited the girls' profile several times until yesterday when I decided to go for it, and clicked to register my interest. I figured the worst that could happen was being told no again.

Well, today has been a very suprising day. The family finding social worker has been in touch about the 'possible match'. First time I've been referred to as that, and first time a social worker has contacted my agency to ask about me, not the other way round! That in itself was pretty amazing, though I was worried that the social worker had read my information wrong and assumed I was an adopter. My link worker had tried to call the SW, hadn't got through and then had to leave for a meeting elsewhere. She'd forwarded me the email and me being the impatient so and so I am, decided to follow up the contact myself. I never know if this is the right thing to do but I couldn't stand not knowing for a whole weekend!!

So I called. The social worker knew my name, sounded happy I'd called, and went on to say how good a match she thought I was. Three more firsts! She told me a lot about the girls and said that although they are looking for an adoptive family they are doubtful they'll find one (mainly because of their ages), and that they would definitely be looking at possible long term foster carers. She explained that the most important thing is keeping the girls together in a family that reflects their heritage, and I can offer that. She even went on to assure me that even if adopters came forward, they wouldn't be placed before me just because they could adopt, and that the best match for the girls would still be the most important thing. She sounded very impressed with everything I said and wants to schedule a time to meet me, along with my link worker and the children's social worker. I am so excited!! I spoke to my link worker later on and told her the news, and she sounded as happy as I was.

I can't believe I'm finally being seriously considered. And I think it's pretty amazing how it happened. Maybe I've been waiting for these girls all along...

One year on

2008-10-17T10:56:00.000+01:00

and still no kids :(

Wow, it's all happening today!

2008-09-15T14:42:00.005+01:00

I spoke to my link worker at the agency this morning - about not being considered for A, about referrals they'd had that I hadn't been considered for (mostly as they were in school out of my area), and about the chance of actually fostering one day soon (and I also explained some things about needing to start working again soon, whether it's fostering or childminding, I need to earn an income!)

I then emailed her this afternoon to ask if she could find out about J (as her SW is one that I don't feel comfortable talking to). I just received this mail back:

I have just had a conversation with [SW], who confirmed that she was on leave for three weeks and has been back at work for a week now. She explained that things have changed considerably with regard to J's behaviour and that they are now reconsidering her placement needs in the light of this. In revisiting their consideration of single parent households they are now looking to families with birth children that are significantly older than J and who therefore could offer addtional support in the placement to meet her needs.

[SW] remembered your enquiry and thanked you for your interest.

Poor kid. Things sound really tough, and I wish I could help. But I know this kind of placement won't be possible until my daughter is a LOT older.

I'm actually kind of glad today that I pushed a bit. I found out quite a bit, and feel like I'm being taken seriously. I just hope a placement does come through before I'm so skint I need to go back to childminding full time!

If only...

2008-09-15T12:50:00.005+01:00

...all social workers were like A's one! This is the reply she sent me:

Many thanks Emily. I wanted to ensure you knew I had given a placement with yourself proper consideration but really feel it wouldn't be the right placement for A.

I wish you all the very best, M.

They made a decision!

2008-09-15T12:45:00.002+01:00

Not the one I wanted to hear, but I'm glad it was made quickly.

I won't be considered as a carer for A, mainly due to distance and the amount of contact that's needed with her birth family :(

I've emailed her SW to say thank you for being so great and to wish them the best of luck finding the right family for A.

Very slow progress

2008-09-13T15:36:00.003+01:00

Last week was spent making some calls...

I phoned about J, whose profile I posted on here a while ago. (As I suspected!) her family finding SW had been on leave the whole of the summer so there hadn't been any progress. She will, however, be passing all of the foster carer profiles she's received over to J's SW and they'll select those they feel are the closest match. She said they'll be in touch... which I now know means it's very likely I'll hear anything!... so I'm going to call back in a week or so to pester them for another update :)

As well as J, there's another girl (A, 11 years old) who I'm very keen on. I actually saw A's profile before J's, and I called for information a long time ago - beginning of the year I think. I really like this child's SW! She's the first one I've 'met' who sounded happy to talk to me on the phone, and even more amazing she replies to my emails, often the same day and sometimes even immediately! Anyway, the reason I haven't mentioned this child before is that things had been put on hold, and the earliest they expected to know more was mid September. I didn't want to even think about it until I knew what was happening. Trying to be a bit proactive, I'd updated my profile to reflect my new house etc and thought I'd email it to the SW 'just in case' but also as a way of asking for an update ;) Turns out they are now looking for a long term foster carer. We've sent a few emails back and forth and the next step will be my link worker speaking to A's SW on Monday. I'm hoping this is the one that will work out, as from A's profile she seems perfect, but at the same time I'm trying to not be too hopeful.

And just in case things don't work out, I started making some other calls. I have called my local authority to request an inital meeting as I know if I was with them, not an agency, I'd probably have had plenty of placements by now. This is likely to be a very slow process, so I should know the outcome of my enquiries into J and A before I get my visit.

I have also made a couple of enquiries into adoption. I'm quite disheartened with my fostering experience (or lack of!) and wanted to find out what age my daughter would have to be before I could look into adopting a younger child. A 2 or 3 year age gap is normally required so I'm going to go with the flow these next couple of years and if it looks like an option by the time my bubba is nearing 4, I'm going to follow up those calls with a serious enquiry.

A's profile

2008-09-13T14:16:00.002+01:00

A is 11 years old.
Culture & Heritage: A's mother is white British and her father is dual heritage white British/ Mauritian. A is currently being cared for by a white foster carer.

A is described by her carer as a "joy to care for". She can initially be fairly shy, but becomes more chatty once she knows you. She is healthy and has formed a good relationship with her foster family.

Main Details:

A was removed from the care of her mother in 2005 following long standing concerns about the care that both A and her brother, F (aged 13), received from their mother, which was thought at times to have been abusive and neglectful.

A has been with her current foster carer since September 2006 and has settled in well and her foster carer reports that she is a joy to care for.

A is described by her foster carer as girly as she likes to look nice, is fashionable and enjoys putting on jewellery and make up. A enjoys many things: school, playing with her friends and peers, reading, swimming, drawing, playing on the computer, dancing at discos and dressing up. She also likes sports, such as football, cricket, running and skipping. A attends the local youth club and a Saturday drama and dance group. A also loves animals and would like to have a pet of her own in the future.

A's favourite programmes are Tracey Beaker on CBBC, The Sweet Life of Zac and Cody on the Disney Channel and Drake and Josh on Nickleodean television.

A finds it hard to express her emotions and take affection from her carer. She tends to be quite shy, although she has gained in confidence in the year that she has spent with her current foster carer. A can be very chatty, she engages well with adults, responds well to boundaries and enjoys being part of her foster carers extended family. A has self-care skills and social skills appropriate for her age. A is a good eater.

Education: When she was first removed from her mothers care A was behind her peers at school. A attends a mainstream school. Her favourite subjects are art, design, technology and PE. Her least favourite subject is science. A loves school and her teachers say she is well behaved. A is popular with her peers and is said to be caring towards her classmates.

Health: A is in good health. She continues to have three weekly sessions with her CAMHS worker where she can be encouraged to express any worries or difficulties she may have. There are no significant concerns about her mental health, and she will be supported through any future transition.

Legal status: A full care order was granted in August 2006.

Religion: A's father was raised as a Roman Catholic and her mother is nominally a member of the Church of England. However, A has not been encouraged to practice any religion.

Contact:
Supervised contact with her mother once every two months;
Supervised contact with her maternal grandmother once a month;
Supervised contact with her brother once a month;
Al has also just started having contact with her maternal aunt, the frequency of which is currently under review.

Family sought: A two-parent family with children of a similar age, preferably with a two year gap either side. A needs a family who will give her confidence and stability, promote her interests and help her to develop her self-esteem and resilience. They will also need to recognise A's significant attachments to her birth family. Ideally the foster family will reflect A's ethnicity but this is not an essential requirement.

Twins and a self harming teenager

2008-08-27T21:15:00.002+01:00

That was the call I got today. Six year old twin girls and their 14 year old sister. Wanted to know if I would take them.

Of course I would, as long as they'd be ok around my 2 year old. I know very little about what to expect so I trust my agency to only place children with me that wouldn't pose a risk to my daughter. They decided to discuss it further...

The call back this afternoon was disappointing. The older girl was very angry and destructive and the local authority wouldn't place them with me. There had been mention of me just having the twins but they want to keep them all together (which I totally understand).

Schools start back next week so I'm keeping my fingers crossed things will happen soon.

Child Protection training

2008-08-15T21:05:00.003+01:00

I went to my first training session through my foster agency today.

I had a good time, I really enjoyed meeting the other foster carers and I learned a lot - not really much on the Child Protection side of things as I've done that training many times before, but lots of stuff about social services and foster agencies that I didn't know.

The manager of the agency was there and mentioned a referral they'd had for me - two school aged children - but the call she was waiting for never came, and it was another false alarm.

I also found out that many social workers take their holidays during school holidays... apparently this is the reason the agency haven't had many referrals. It makes sense, as the two social workers I've been trying to contact about two (seperate) children I want to be considered for (for a long term placement) are both out of the office until early September. I just wish the agency had thought of this and mentioned it to me before I ended all of my childminding contracts - I could've had 6 extra weeks of steady income!

But oh well, at least I've had a lovely relaxing summer, and I'm now very prepared for my foster kids when they get here :D

Feeling frustrated

2008-08-09T10:03:00.003+01:00

So much has happened in the last couple of months, and yet I still feel like I did all those months ago when I was first approved... I'm STILL waiting for my first foster placement....

At the beginning of June I moved from my lovely, affordable flat where my daughter was born to a bigger, more suitable place ready for foster kids. This house is nicer and perfect for children (all of the kids I look after have said they prefer it), but it's A LOT more money.

Soon after I moved I was offered my third possible placement - one that I really wanted to say yes to but couldn't because of my work - and made the decision to quit childminding so I would be available at short notice for the next referral that came my way. This was such a hard thing to do because not only was I letting the families down, I was also putting myself in a situation where I had no idea when I'd be earning again and yet had higher rent and bills to pay.

A month after moving (with the house still only half unpacked!) I went away on holiday with my family for 2 weeks. I really needed the break and it was great relaxing and watching my daughter enjoy herself and learn so much. I called the foster agency the Monday after we got back, and I was informed that while I was away they'd had a referral specifically for me - siblings aged six and one - but with it being an emergency the local authority couldn't wait for me to return to place the children. It was so disappointing to hear that another placement had passed me by. Especially one where the kids were perfect ages.

That week I worked my last full week childminding - an exhausting 50 something hours! Luckily one of the families was happy for me to carry on minding their child with the knowledge that I may have to cancel at very short notice. This has been great for me as it means I'm still earning some income and also only working a couple of 10 hour days a week. I get a bit of a break and it keeps my daughter entertained too which is great!

On Wednesday 30th July I had a call while I was in the park with my daughter and a friend. The agency had had a referral and I was told to be ready in case the children needed placing. I rushed home and spent the rest of the day tidying the house and organising things so the kids could move in the next day. At 4.30pm on Thursday I got a call saying the case was still in court and I would be informed of the outcome the next day. I waited and waited for the call on Friday but it never came so I called the office first thing on Monday morning to find out what was happening. A few hours later I was told that the placing authority wanted to keep all four kids together (not split them 2 and 2 as I'd been told previously) and had found other carers.

The next day I had a call to say they'd had another referral - an adoption breakdown. I agreed to take the child but didn't hear anymore. I then got a call on the Wednesday - they'd had a referral for 2 children aged 10 and 12. I asked what was happening with the first one and was told that he couldn't be placed with younger children, so would I take this new referral. I reminded the agency that I was only approved for up to age 7 which caused a lot of flapping at the other end of the phone. I was told they would get back in touch with the local authority and call me back... as usual, no word so I called them the next day - no the children couldn't be placed with me, and what a silly age limit I had, it really should be upped to 12. Well, that's what I asked for to begin with, it was my link worker who suggested age 7 to panel, but somehow I'm made to feel its my fault...

I know it's only been two weeks since I've actually been free to take emergency placements but this whole thing is starting to get to me again. I feel like I'm waiting for the phone to ring every day, and am constantly on edge in case they want to place kids and I'm not ready. I still don't have the foster kids bedroom set up, but not knowing what ages the kids might be means I can't really do anything. I think the worst bit though is the way the agency deal with things. They never seem to know the facts about my situation or my approval (several times I've had to remind them that my daughter is 2, tell them how many bedrooms I have, state the ages I'm approved for). And when they say they'll call and then don't. I'm starting to feel like I'm only important to them when they can use me - they don't seem to realise that right now I'm putting everything on hold for them and it might be nice them to actually call when they promise they will. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should have gone with another agency. I'm going to give them a year from my approval (ie until October this year) and if things haven't happened by then I might just have to see about moving to another agency.

Possible placement #3

2008-06-27T17:43:00.002+01:00

The one I missed out on.

I would have taken the children but my childminding work meant I couldn't. The children were aged 3 and 1. I look after two children aged 3 and 2 and am at my limit for children aged under 5. I have thought A LOT about these children and wished I could have said yes.

The day of the referral I ended up speaking to the manager of the fostering agency and she didn't sound too pleased with me. She told me I had to choose which was more important, fostering or childminding. I was a little defensive to start with. But then I realised she was right.

I had begun childminding to earn some money whilst I was waiting to start fostering. It's just having the relationship with, and committment to, my mindees and their parents changed things slightly. It's not something you can stop suddenly without upsetting people and feeling guilty. However, fostering is what I wanted to do first, and there was a reason for that. The children I mind have good, loving families. They'll be fine if they have to move to another childminder. I want to make a real difference to children's lives, for children who can't live with their birth parents.

So today I've written letters to the parents of my minded children, giving them notice to terminate their contracts. I know it's not going to please them but it's something I have to do. And in 4 weeks time I'll be free to accept any emergency placement that the agency send my way.

Possible placement #2

2008-06-01T17:11:00.003+01:00

I had a call from my agency last week... they'd had a referral from a local authority and were looking to place two children - siblings, one aged 3 years, the other 10 months. They wanted to check I would accept the placement. I said yes despite the fact I am in the middle of packing to move!

I then had a call back a few hours later saying the children had been placed with LA carers and I wouldn't be needed after all. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time... I think things may have been a little crazy if they had been placed with me, boxes everywhere and three kids under 4!

There was mention of another possible placement next week - older siblings aged 9 and 7 - so I'm hoping things are about to happen. It's starting to look like I really am moving house for a reason...

Placement sought: Foster Care

2008-05-19T17:08:00.004+01:00

This is the profile of a child I enquired about today. I'm very keen to be considered. Now starts that awful waiting time where everything moves much too slowly and I just want to know whether we could be considered a match!

J is 12 years old.
Culture & Heritage: White British mother; Black British father of Jamaican heritage
Family sought: Within 120 minutes travel of the borough.

J is a lovely child who can be quiet at times and does not always openly express her feelings on occasions. She lacks confidence and due to early life experiences of parenting, has low self esteem which is improving.
J is healthy, although she is asthmatic, has a positive sense of her identity and responds to praise, encouragement, gentle but consistant boundaries. She enjoys reading,watching Tracey Beaker, working on computer, ice skating and outdoor activities.

Physical Development
J is developing well, using an inhaler mainly after games at school for ashtma. She has had eczema in the past but this has now cleared. She has a poor sleeping pattern at times and has been provided with strategies to manage this.

Emotional Development
J has developed a good relationship with her carer and interacts well on a one to one basis. She has a network of friends.
She has found it difficult to accept the plan for permanency and can be emotionally fragile, becoming easily upset.
She is currently seen by the Clinical Psychologist. Has engaged with the process and interacts well.

Education
J is a bright child who is achieving and progressing well. She is studious, motivated and enjoys attending school but is finding Math challenging.

Legal
J is cutrrently on an Interim Care Order and the plan for her is to to be placed with permanent foster carers. Final hearing will commence at the end of May.

Contact
It is envisaged that J will have direct contact with her birth mother 4 times a year, birth father 2 times a year and sister C (being placed separately) every month. J will also have annual indirect contact with her older and younger siblings and possible direct contact with paternal grandparents 4 times a year

We are looking for a dual heritage family of either one or two parents who can refect her ethnicity, race and culture. J would like to be a member of a large family with younger or older children who are active and interested in outdoor activities.

My first possible placement

2008-05-15T20:15:00.002+01:00

I had an urgent call last week. My agency had had a referral for a child that needed placing immediately. I was told it was a short term placement that would run for a couple of months. I was so excited to finally get that call!

Sadly, the child's info was sent to me and there was no way I could accept the placement. Not only do I have my own daughter to think about, but I've recently started childminding to earn an income that I wasn't getting from the (lack of) fostering work. Taking this child would have put the other children at risk, and there's no way I could do that.

I felt bad for saying no. Having read about the child, I wanted to be able to help. It also made me sad - it was the first detailed info I had seen on a child and it really brought home some of the awful experiences these children go through. I think the bit that surprised me was my desire to accept this placement - I thought I'd given up on the fostering but getting this call made me realise that it's still something I really want to do.

So much so that I went on the internet that evening and searched for houses that would be more suitable for looking after a foster child. I want to be in a position to accept the next referral I get, and having that extra bedroom would make it much easier. I've been looking for a property for over 6 months now with no luck - either they're not what I'm after or I love the house and the landlord won't accept my situation. I spotted one that evening that looked good and called to leave a message. I viewed the next day and it was PERFECT. It had only just gone on the market, is being totally refurbished, I was the first to view (I made sure of that!) and the landlord seemed happy to accept me (he's now questioning the age of potential foster children, but I'm hoping it won't be an issue). It's situations like this that I really believe that someone or something is showing me the way. Each time a house fell through I told myself it wasn't meant to be and the right one would show up... it's just kind of spooky it happened the same day I got that call. I'm not particularly religious but if I believe in God it's definitely moments like these!

Anyway, I'm currently going through the reference checks and hopefully, if all goes like I expect it to and the landlord doesn't change his mind, we'll be moving early June.

I just hope this all ties in with my first proper placement :)

Children who wait

2008-03-26T14:38:00.003Z

I've just had the return call about one of the girls I had enquired about. They are looking for a couple, and any children in the family must be several years older.

I wondered if this was the case.

This little girl has been featured for a long time. Initially it was with her younger sister, and later on, on her own. Her profile disappeared for a while, and has just been put back up on the site. All of this made me think the poor little thing probably has some very serious issues. The social worker confirmed this, and said a single person would not be able to cope as they would be lacking that someone else to hand over to when things got really tough.

It makes me so sad to think what this little girl must have been through in the short time she was with her birth family. My heart goes out to her and all the other children who have suffered/are suffering from abuse of any kind.

Ah well, start again

2008-03-25T13:29:00.000Z

Anyone who checks my blog has probably already guessed that things didn't go too well with the meeting.

My link worker was great and got here almost an hour before the children's social workers to reassure me, talk me through possible questions etc. I had a list of questions I wanted to ask and lots of other info ready to prove I could be a good match for these children. I didn't have the children's information; we found out at the start of the meeting that this should have been sent, but neither I nor my agency had received it, so I still don't know the full facts about the children.

The social workers seemed to have decided from the start that I was not what they were looking for. They were concerned that a single person with a young child would not be able to manage with these children, and would not be able to give them what they needed. The family finder kept saying that the reason they had come to see me was not based on my homestudy but on the commitment I had shown in calling for regular updates. Fat lot of good that did! My link worker did a fab job, and at one point it did seem like we had convinced the social workers otherwise. They stayed longer than expected, and even talked through the financial aspects with my link worker, but looking back now it does all seem like a big waste of time.

I was given a date at the end of the month for feedback but ended up calling two days later as I was so concerned I hadn't 'sold myself' well enough that I had written a very long email explaining in more detail how I could parent these children. That also proved to be fairly pointless; when I spoke to the family finder she said they had seen the final couple who they were very happy with, and were going to proceed with that match. She said again that I should consider one child only and that was that.

I was very disappointed, and spent the next few days thinking how I would give up on the idea of fostering altogether. The trouble is, I know it's something I want/need/have to do and I can never stick with my decision to quit! When I called my agency to give them the feedback, I also asked to amend my age range, so that I could be considered for a wider age range and hopefully increase my chances of having a child placed through the agency. I have asked for ages birth to 7, rather than 4 to 7, but I still wonder if I should have been firmer from the beginning and stuck with birth to 11. I have also asked them, again, to please consider me for respite or short term placements.

Over the weekend I was browsing an adoption/fostering site that features children's profiles and came across two little girls who both need long term foster placements. I have now contacted one social worker who asked for my Form F (homestudy), and am trying to get in touch with the second one. One child is aged 6 and the other is 11. If I had to write an example of the kind of child I would like to be matched with, I would be describing the 11 year old almost exactly. It's so hard not to get all hopeful over these children, but I need to start thinking I won't be chosen. A family member is currently being assessed to care for the 11 year old, and I have no doubt this would be the best outcome for her, so there's probably even less chance of me being considered. I just wish I could do the job I set out to do.

Monday 17th March 2008

2008-02-26T13:50:00.003Z

That's the date!

My link worker, the family finder and the children's social worker will be coming to see me at 11am.

I have also asked a friend to come round to keep my daughter and the little boy I mind occupied so we are able to talk relatively undisturbed.

So a full house!

I can't believe it's happening, I'm feeling nervous already. Apparently I'm one of three families they're visiting, and the family finder told my link worker that I'm high up there because of my persistance. I really hope it pays off.

I now need to read up on Special Guardianship and Every Child Matters, and keep working on my list of questions that I want to ask on the day.

Wish me luck!!

Some good news at last!!

2008-02-22T17:33:00.003Z

I am so happy to be posting this! :D

But first, an update...

I had taken a break from it all, as I said in my last post, and left it to my agency to find me a placement. Well, no change there - the most I had from them was the occasional email saying they were still waiting/looking for a suitable match. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with everything they've done for me so far, and my link worker is a lovely lady, I guess I'm just a little disappointed with the lack of possible placements... I really thought I wouldn't be waiting long after approval, but it seems I knew very little about the system. But still, I guess everything happens for a reason, and maybe this is that reason?

Anyway, the January edition of the magazine I get didn't feature any children needing long term foster care so I had another month of concentrating on other stuff.

Then the February edition came. I had a funny feeling about it the day before it arrived and when I opened the envelope two beautiful faces were staring up at me - a brother and sister, just the right age, needing a permanent foster placement. I tried to call the family finder several times and finally got through to her the following week (she just happened to be the same lady I have spoken to many times before about two other sibling pairs). It was a no from the start, the children are black and have only known black families, so considering me would not be possible. But, she said, if it was a dual heritage pair I was calling about, such as the children I had enquired about previously, then things might be different. I hung up the phone feeling sad and emailed my agency to say it had been a no.

Then I got to thinking about the children I had been phoning about since I began my homestudy in summer 07. The children had been (and still are) featured on a website as looking for either adoption or LTFC. From reading the two profiles, I had my heart set on one pair from the beginning, and their's is the profile I showed my link worker when I suggested LTFC as a possibility. They are the children I called about the day I was approved. They have also been featured in the magazines, but each time it has been stated they are looking for adoption only. I had been told to wait until after Christmas and then call to see what the situation was but, with my lack of enthusiasm recently, I hadn't called back, assuming as they weren't in the January edition of the magazine they must have been matched with a family.

The family finder mentioning their names had me wondering and I decided to call her back. This time things were very different! She told me that no, they hadn't found a family, and yes, they would now be looking for a LT foster family for them. I said I was still interested, to which she replied she was very glad I had called back and asked for a copy of my homestudy to pass onto the children's social worker! My agency forwarded a copy last Tuesday, 12th February...

As seems to be the case when dealing with social services, I heard nothing back. I know how slowly things can move, so I gave her a week and called back yesterday. Apparently I'm psychic as each time I call she was just talking about me / just about to call me. Anyway, this time she'd been singing my praises (her words!) to the children's social worker and wanted to arrange a date to visit me to show me their file and discuss any issues. Wow! At last!

So now I have the task of contacting my link worker for a date she can do (as often seems to be the case, she's on annual leave at the moment) and then we'll finally find out, after months of waiting, whether we might actually be a match.

I'd love to post a photo but I'm not sure if it's allowed. The children are adorable. They're described as 'very sociable and friendly children who are a delight to have around'. The family finder says their short term carer loves them to bits. They have such cheeky smiles and twinkling eyes, a little mischievous looking and definitely full of life. I can't wait for this next bit! :D

Taking a back seat

2007-11-26T13:37:00.000Z

I had some news this morning - I won't be put forward as a possible match for the single child I had enquired about as they have decided it is important to find a black family.

I've done a lot of thinking recently and I have decided that before I am matched for a long term placement I'd like to 'test the water' with a respite or short term placement. I mentioned this to my agency; they seemed happy and said they would keep me in mind if anything comes up.

I'm also going to take a break from looking for a child/children myself until after Christmas. I'm fed up waiting for a call (that never comes) and not knowing what's going on, so I'm going to forget about it for a while! I'm going to concentrate on enjoying this time with just my daughter and if I do get a call about a foster placement, well that will be a nice surprise!

Special guardianship, siblings and BME children

2007-11-17T11:54:00.000Z

When I wrote my last post there was something I didn't mention. It was still bothering me at the time, so I wasn't sure if I should include it or not. A week's gone by now, and I'm feeling much more positive about things. What am I talking about? A very disheartening phone call...

On Thursday 8th November I phoned an LA in response to a child's profile. The child's social worker was not available but I spoke to another worker who took a message. During our brief conversation the idea of special guardianship was mentioned, and, as this is something I would consider, my details were to be passed onto the individual who dealt with this specifically.

I received the special guardianship call the next day (note: the social worker knew very little about me, my background or my skills, hadn't seen my paperwork and hadn't spoken with my agency). Bearing in mind that special guardianship is something I have discussed as a possibility with other social workers, in connection with two sibling groups, I was very disappointed to hear that I would not be suitable because 1) my daughter is too young, 2) most children they are looking to place are older than 7 (the maximum age I have been approved for) and 3) most of the children for whom they are looking for special guardianship would need to be the youngest in the family.

Ok, so I'll continue looking for a long-term placement? Not according to this individual. Some of the 'facts' I learnt were:

* My daughter is too young. For any placement. Foster children come with many problems and disruptive behaviours. These may affect my daughter, and will certainly affect the amount of time I have to spend with her. She will grow up damaged.

* Many children in the age range that I have been approved for will regress. It will be like having 2 toddlers to deal with.

* Fostering 2 children would be very hard work and much more time consuming. See the first 2 points but multiply by x.

* RE: the specific children that I have enquired about (and have been told I will be considered for if adoptive families aren't found) - 'Has *name of social worker* made you aware of the very challenging behaviour these children are displaying?' no 'Oh well, I won't go into details...'

* It is very unlikely I would be considered for the child I had called about the previous day. Most social workers don't place black children with white carers. I would be ok to foster a white or dual heritage child. But not a black child.

I spent most of the next few days wondering whether I was doing the right thing. I knew all about the behaviour issues, but what if she was right and it was all too much? I wanted to do this, but couldn't risk my daughter's health and happiness. All of these points were things I had discussed with my agency and I was confident that I would manage. But if all I had been told was true, why had I been approved?

4 days later a magazine arrived. I had never seen one of the family finding publications before and I was surprised and saddened by the amount of profiles featured, advertising children who were looking for forever families. I looked through the pages and knew I was doing the right thing. Out of all of these children who needed a loving, caring family, there must be one who would fit in with myself and my daughter.

I was still feeling a bit deflated and didn't feel up to making any calls for fear of being told the same thing. But I did look through to see if there were any children who needed a long term foster family. Most of the children were being placed for adoption. A few children were looking for a foster placement, but most of these were older than 7 and/or needed a 2 parent family. In the end, there were only two profiles that matched my criteria. A sibling pair - 2 white British children. And a child of black African/Caribbean heritage (the same ethnic origin as my daughter's father).

I read the profiles again the next day and there was definitely one that stood out. From what was written about the single child it appeared that we were a very good match. However, this child was black and I had been told in no uncertain terms that very few social workers would consider placing a black child with me. I almost didn't call but in end I couldn't stand not knowing - I decided to phone, even if it was just to put my mind at ease. The child's social worker, however, had other ideas! My enquiry was met with great interest and there was no mention of colour being an issue. This child is currently placed in a family with younger children and they all get on very well. The social worker seemed very keen to hear more about me and asked to speak to my agency so that my paperwork could be forwarded for consideration. This has now happened and I am waiting to find out what the next step is. I am so happy I made that call.

Over the next few days I received two other phone calls, both responding to enquiries I had made previously in connection with two sibling groups. One of these informed me that, like the other two sibling groups I have enquired about, they are currently looking for an adoptive family but will consider a long-term foster placement if they have no success by the New Year (that makes three siblings groups I have to call about after Christmas). The other call was similar, however the social worker didn't say that fostering will be an option but went on to ask if I would consider adoption as from the profile I had sent them I was just what they were looking for!

I'm not sure how the process works but at the moment I'm waiting to hear from the social worker of the single child. Hopefully it won't be too long. My initial thoughts were that I would prefer to foster a sibling group but the one thing I have taken note of from that very demoralising conversation is that going from one child to three children might be difficult. If things don't work out with the single child then it is still something I will consider, but I will pursue this option first.

All of the sibling groups that I have enquired about are of dual-heritage, reflecting my own multicultural family. It is a fact that children from black and mixed-heritage families are over represented in the care system. It is also a fact that these children are deemed harder to place, along with sibling groups, older children (those aged 4+) and disabled children. I want to make a difference, and I want to make a difference for at least one of those children who have less of a chance simply because of the colour of their skin.

Waiting for a match...

2007-11-14T11:55:00.000Z

Well, it's 4 weeks now since I was approved at panel so I thought I should stop by for a quick update.

Sadly, I have very little news to report.

Before my approval I had been in contact with a LA looking for a permanent family for a sibling pair. My link worker seemed to think there was a good chance of a match. Unfortunately, I called the family finder for the LA the day after panel and it's been decided that they will continue looking for an adoptive family for the children. This is much the same with nearly all of the children in the family finding publications. Most children are to be placed for adoption, and those that are looking for a long term foster placement are usually older than the age I have been approved for, need a 2 parent family, or need to be the youngest child in the family. So it seems that I may be waiting a WHILE before I have a child/children placed with me.

That said, there is one child I have enquired about that received a very positive sounding response, but it's very early days. It's hard not to get excited but I don't want to get too hopeful in case it's another no. This child sounded perfect from the brief description I was given but it's all out of my hands now. If it's meant to be, we'll be matched. I just hope I know soon!

I have found a bit more time for reading recently and I just wanted to share a very informative book. It's by Margot Sunderland and was originally entitled 'Science of Parenting: Practical Guidance on Sleep, Crying, Play and Building Emotional Wellbeing for Life'. It has been renamed and is now published as 'What Every Parent Needs to Know: The Incredible Effects of Love, Nurture and Play on Your Child's Development'. Either way, it's a great book and has given me real confidence in the way I am raising my daughter. It also relates to the damage caused through lack of care for many looked after children, and gives a very good insight to what is going on within the child's mind. Essential reading for any parent I think!

Panel

2007-10-18T12:34:00.000+01:00

Ok, now on to the exciting bit!

I finally (after what feels like weeks of waiting!) attended the panel meeting yesterday for discussion of my approval. I was so nervous a whole 2 days before the meeting so u can imagine what I was like on the day. It was held in a beautiful location and the panel members were all very nice, but that really didn't do much to calm my nerves.

I met the chair person when I arrived and waited with my link worker (from the agency, the lady who had carried out all the homestudy meetings) while the panel prepared questions. This took them some time but they finally called us through to the meeting room. After introductions, I was asked a series of questions that had arisen from my Form F (homestudy) report, which took quite a long time to get through and were all very in depth and personal. Not at all like the 'so why do you want to foster question' I was expecting (although this did come up towards the end anyway!)

When they had finished questioning, we were asked to leave the room, and after 5 minutes or so the chair person came out meet with us again. There was a very anxious moment when he walked in the room and I waited and held my breath trying to guess what he was going to say... and then he held out his hand and said congratulations!!! Phew! I couldn't stop grinning!

The panel were impressed (with my nervous babbling?! I don't think so!!), were sure I had a lot to offer and had agreed that I would be suitable to foster one child, or two children if siblings, aged 4 to 7, either long or short term!!! Wow, I still can't believe it! The age range is only fixed for a short time, and will be reviewed after I've had children placed for a while. Now I just can't wait to hear I've been matched with a child/children, and get to start what I've worked so hard to achieve.

Preparation group training

2007-10-18T12:28:00.001+01:00

This was all booked for earlier in the month - a three day residential course for both me and my daughter to attend - and I was really looking forward to it but unfortunately it had to be cancelled at the last minute. I've been told it will be rescheduled so I'm now awaiting details of a new date.

Health and safety

2007-10-18T12:04:00.000+01:00

Especially for Anita, here's a quick summary of the healthy and safety check that was carried out on my home, and the items that I have had to buy and install...

The checklist consisted of four parts: a health and safety checklist, a questionnaire for dog owners, a farm safety questionnaire and a section to describe any pet, other than dogs, which may pose a threat to children. I only had to worry about the first section as the others don't apply.

The health and safety section looked in detail at the house in general, indoor safety factors, the kitchen, bathrooms, outdoor safety factors, first aid, hazardous activities, insurances, cars, and firearms.

In order to meet all of the requirements, I have done the following:
* booked a first aid training course specific to child care
* purchased a first aid kit
* fitted all electrical sockets with child resistant safety covers
* installed window locks (so that they only open a small amount)
* fitted safety gates at the top and bottom of my stairs and at the kitchen door
* checked smoke detectors work
* had the fire service round to advise on fire escapes
* bought a fire blanket
* bought a fire extinguisher
* bought and installed a carbon monoxide detector
* ensured cleaning products, medicines and alcohol are kept in a locked cupboard

There is a lot more in the checklist that I could mention too, but a lot of it is down to common sense, and different areas probably do things differently anyway. But hopefully this will give some ideas as to what an agency will be looking for :)

Almost there...

2007-09-23T13:22:00.000+01:00

Ok, first of all I must apologise for not posting for so long. August proved to be a very sad month. After many years of fighting cancer, my mum passed away. It's taken a while to feel 'normal' again but I've finally started to get back into the swing of things, and with my panel date fast approaching, fostering has once again become a main focus.

August also seemed to be holiday time for everyone concerned with my application, and very little progress was made, but September has brought lots of action! All three of my referees (all friends, two of whom were teaching colleagues) have been interviewed, and from what I can gather, it went very well and the agency have a very positive impression of me.

My link worker also came to see me last week. I had expected the visit to have been the one where I get to read through my Form F (homestudy) but with the loss of my mother, she wanted to see how I was coping and take further notes to put in the report. She also carried out a health and safety check on my home, and I now have a whole list of things to buy and put in place before my approval!

On top of all of this, my baby girl broke her leg three weeks ago, and has had to have regular hospital visits. She's been an absolute angel with it all, and hardly seems to notice her leg is in plaster. We have an appointment tomorrow when the plaster will be removed and *hopefully* her bone will be fully mended. Unfortunately, that won't be the end of it all as the accident has also gone into my report and I need to supply a written account, hospital notes and confirmation from my health visitor that there are no concerns over my daughter's health etc. I understand that this is good practice; I'm happy to supply the information, and glad that they haven't just accepted it and moved on as it shows that they take such issues seriously. I just hope it doesn't look bad on me, and affect my chances of being approved.

Well, that's all for now but I know I'll have more to post soon, as my report has to be submitted by the beginning of October, and I'm pretty sure I'll be meeting with the agency in the week to read it through and make any final adjustments. Wish me luck!!!

Books, books and more books!

2007-08-18T13:47:00.000+01:00

As I haven't got any more meetings with the agency or paperwork to complete, I've been filling my spare time with lots of reading relating to foster care. I love reading anyway, and I'm finding that I'm learning so much. It's even got me reflecting on my teaching experiences; a lot of what I now know would have been very useful back then. I won't go into details, but there seems to be a lot of issues mentioned in the literature that relate to some of the children at school, and it's made me wonder about their home lives.

I thought I'd use this post to list the books I've read so far:

'Damaged: The Heartbreaking True Story of a Forgotten Child' by Cathy Glass (a book written by a foster carer about her experiences with a very abused young girl.)

'Wednesday's Child' by Shane Dunphy (a childcare worker and his experiences with three families.)

'If you don't stick with me, who will?: The challenges and rewards of foster care' edited by Henrietta Bond (a collection of first-person accounts from foster carers giving a very real insight into what it's like to care for children - a very interesting book!)

'Providing a secure base in long-term foster care' by Mary Beek and Gillian Schofield (currently reading this one - this text uses case studies to show how children with backgrounds of loss and adversity need the experience of sensitive parenting and a secure base to contain their anxieties, heal their sense of hurt, build self-esteem and make them confident and competent - all based around attachment theory.)

Assessment complete!!

2007-08-08T13:05:00.000+01:00

Ooops, I never did get back to write about the second assessment meeting. Since then I've had two more (one on Monday 30th July and one yesterday). The second and third meeting were lengthy and as in-depth as before (I've forgotten exactly what we talked about now, but it was more of my history and parenting style, plus some questions on fostering, some of which I found quite difficult). But the final one yesterday was less than an hour and was really to gather any last bits of information and sort out some future dates...

My assessment is finished (I can't believe how quickly it has happened!!). My link worker has to go away and write up my report, wait for the medical to be recieved, interview my 3 referees, and bring the completed Form F report for me to review before it is submitted around mid-September. The next time she visits she will carry out a health and safety inspection of my home so we can ensure it's safe for children to be placed with me.

So now it's back to waiting... my panel date is set for mid-October (and the agency are confident I will be approved on that day.) Wow, I'm almost a foster carer!!

In the meantime, I will be keeping busy reading as many books as I can find on foster care, and I will have preparation group training to attend in September or October.

Assessment meeting #2

2007-07-24T22:00:00.000+01:00

I had my second Form F assessment meeting today, which went well. I'll post more about it asap!

Assessment meeting #1

2007-07-17T20:36:00.000+01:00

Wow, what a day! Things are really happening now!

I had a meeting with the social worker from the agency to start the assessment process and it went really well. She asked a lot of in depth stuff about my childhood, my parents and family etc. It felt a bit funny at first telling this woman who I'd only met once before stuff I wouldn't normally discuss with a stranger, but I think I did ok! They have to gather all this information to see how past events impacts on your own parenting style and I totally understand where they're coming from.

The meeting was 2 hours long and she left me with a whole stack of homework - forms that need to be completed on my upbringing, major events in my life, my relationships with friends and family (inc my support network) and detailed notes on my education, employment, interests and personality. I started them as soon as she left and I've hardly scratched the surface... luckily I have a week before our next meeting to get them completed!

Well, the good news from today is:

* the social worker still thinks I'll make a good foster parent :)
* she was very impressed with how knowledgable I am of fostering and the application process
* we have the next three meetings booked, and will be halfway thru the assessment by early August!! (I couldn't believe this, I thought it would take much longer)
* I could be approved sooner than I thought (more Oct/Nov than in the new year as I expected)
* two out of three of my references have been returned
* the major illness in my family won't impact on my application (from info I'd read on the net, I was worried they would say take some time out and apply later on)
* the two children (a brother (8) and sister (4) pair) who I spotted on a website and thought could be a great match for my family might actually be a possibility as things are progressing so quickly.

I still have a training course to complete, which hopefully will be in September.

Also, I spoke to the social worker about the possibility of moving to a larger, more child friendly home. It won't affect my application, apart from the fact that the health and safety check will have to be redone at the new property (which will probably prove to be safer as I have a couple of possible hazzards here which are out of my control). So I'm now looking for suitable properties and might be moving soon!

'No' from Social Services

2007-07-10T13:17:00.000+01:00

Shortly after posting my first entry, I received a phone call from Social Services.

Despite a national shortage and current drive to recruit more foster carers...

'Helen Clarke, recruitment campaign co-ordinator said: ‘The UK is currently short of a staggering 10,000 foster carers and the Fostering Network is encouraging people during these two-weeks to think about fostering. Anyone can apply to be a foster carer as long as they have what it takes to care for children separated from their own families.’' (The Fostering Network, 2005)

Despite my skills and my suitability and my enthusiasm...

Despite the fact that I have a spare room with plenty of space for a child or children...

...they have decided that the spare bedroom would be seen as T's room (she shares with me and will do for the next couple of years) and they cannot proceed with my application. I explained that I would be happy to do respite/short term care for as long as the spare room is available. But it's still a no. I wonder if they're thinking of all the children who need a home when they make these kinds of decisions.

No wonder there's a shortage of carers.

It's a good job I've decided to go ahead with the agency and that they are happy with my current situation. I think I might just take a look at 3 bedroom houses though, just in case!

First steps

2007-07-10T09:37:00.000+01:00

I've decided to create this blog for two reasons. The first is as a way for me to record my journey to becoming a foster carer, and hopefully, if everything goes to plan, our life as a foster family. The other reason is to give people (who are thinking about fostering but aren't sure what is involved) an insight into the process. I have looked for personal stories from foster carers online but my searches have been without much success... I hope this blog will fill that gap and help other people in their decision to foster.

As for me, I have always wanted to foster/adopt. When my daughter was born, and I decided that I wouldn't return to work, it seemed the perfect time. I can raise her, work from home, and provide a loving, safe environment for a child or children who are in need.

These are the steps I've undertaken so far:

Sept 2006?: When T was a few months old I contacted my local Social Services team to find out more about becoming a foster carer. They asked me to wait until she turned a year old and to call back then to apply.

early May 2007: (T was 11 months but I knew it would take a couple of weeks for them to get back to me!) I called Social Services back to confirm I was still interested in becoming a foster carer.

end May 2007: I was frustrated waiting to hear from SS so I began looking into other options. I found a list of fostering agencies online and contacted several of these. Many had reasons they couldn't work with me (T was still too young, the fact I'm renting was a problem etc) but two agencies were interested and sent information/application packs.

After filling in forms and more waiting, I had three initial visits scheduled:
mid-June: Social Services
end June: agency
early July: agency

The Social Worker from SS seemed happy, but had a few points to clarify with her manager. She informed me she would go away and write her report, pass it to her manager for approval, and I should hear back from them... in 8 weeks!!! The whole approval process would take 6 month to a year, with the later being more likely. I'm still waiting to hear if they would approve me.

The first agency seemed very happy with me and I had a very positive feeling about this meeting. She said she hoped I would choose to work with them. She also had to write up her report but said I would hear from them shortly and the process should take around 6 months. In the time between then and now, they have sought references and sent a medical form to be completed by my GP. They also offered me training even before my initial visit but T was unwell so I couldn't go. I'm pretty sure this is the agency I will work with.

The meeting with the second agency was also positive. He was very informative and certainly knew his stuff but I just got the feeling he was trying to talk me out of caring for the age group I would prefer (primary school age) and was promoting teenagers and young mums. Obviously I would be happy to care for any age child, but his agency doesn't place many young children and I felt he was saying certain things to make me choose his agency. My preference for primary age children is based on my teaching expericence, the fact T is still young, and my confidence in dealing with this aged child. I'd be happy to care for teenagers when I'm more experienced and T is older, but right now I feel younger children would fit in with our situation better.

So after all the waiting and the meetings, I'm now waiting again to hear from the agency to start completing the indepth approval process. The second agency left a Form F questionnaire which has helped me to gather my thoughts for the sessions when they happen. I just hope I'm contacted soon so we can get things moving...