Things never go to plan do they?

After a delayed meeting (cancelled and moved forward a week) I have just heard that the girls will not be placed with me.

They are being separated.

Lil Sis has been matched with an adopter.

For Big Sis they had two foster carers lined up (myself and one other). They have decided to place her with me, and have asked if I would consider adoption, or SGO (special guardianship order).

I am incredibly happy that I have finally been matched with a child. I will do my absolute best for this little girl. The SW said all she really needs is a mummy and lots of love. I can give that, and so much more!

But I'm feeling sad.

Sad that they're splitting the sisters when I thought I could manage them both together. And sad because I think I might have been a reason behind their decision to seperate.

When I heard on Monday that they had an adopter lined up for Lil Sis but not Big Sis it broke my heart. The SW was already talking like they might be splitting them and I asked why they'd not identified an adopter for Big Sis. She said it was because no adopters had come forward. This really played on my mind. She has more issues than the rest of her siblings, and then to be the only one who wasn't being adopted, I just couldn't stand it. I called her back asked if I could be considered as an adopter for Big Sis...

So today the decision is to split. Lil Sis will go to her adopter and I have been asked if I will still consider adopting Big Sis. I have told them I am very happy to discuss it, and as long as it doesn't mean Big Sis will lose out on the support she needs, and as long as I can afford it, then it's definitely an option in my mind.

But, as another foster carer pointed out to me after I'd put my name forward, perhaps having two (possible) adopters was the easy way out for social services? Perhaps they didn't even think about placing both together, as the two being adopted saves them so much money. Have they really done what's best for the girls, or chosen the most cost effective route for the local authority?

I guess I'll never know, but I really hope this decision was made with the girls' best interests at heart.

Good news at last!!!!

I finally met with the social workers of the two girls last Friday. It was amazing. They came here talking about not being able to find a family who could manage both of the girls together due to their individual needs and issues within their relationship. They left an hour an a half later promising to send further information and to confirm within 3 weeks that they would be placing both children with me!

My teaching and childminding experiences together with my committment to these children convinced the SWs that I can do this, and it really is the best feeling. To be able to keep these sisters together means so much to me.

Towards the end of the meeting they began discussing timescales, and it looks like I will be meeting the girls mid May for introductions, with a moving in date sometime during the last week of May. If it all goes to plan, the girls will be with us in just 9 weeks time!

No news

It's just gone 8pm and I've not heard anything about the placement this evening. I had a call at 3pm informing me the case was still in court and thought they'd call back with the outcome. I'm sure they must have finished by now, so I guess that means the kids aren't coming. I'm a teensy bit disappointed, but it does make things a lot more straight forward. Just this Friday to worry about now!

So typical!

After the cancellation of the visit in February about my two girls, I have finally had confirmation of a new date - Friday 27th March. I have my fingers and toes crossed that it will all go smoothly this time and actually take place!

So, with my hopes up for next week, what happened today? I got a call from my agency saying I had been specifically requested for a placement that might happen next week (the case is in court on Monday). It's for 3 children aged 5, 4 and 10 months.

Not only will that be total chaos if it happens, I'm now all worried what it might mean for my girls. I've been waiting all this time and really have my heart set on them, so it's just so typical of this process for something like this to happen.

Had it been any other time I'd have been over the moon to get such news, but right now I'm kind of hoping it goes the way it always has in the past and they don't place them with me. But if that happens, I probably won't get my girls either!

Disappointed

Today was the day the social workers were coming to visit me about the girls. I was so ready for it.

Then I got a call from my agency, an hour before they were due to arrive, saying that an emergency had arisen and the girls SW had to cancel.

I am so deflated, frustrated, disappointed by this whole thing :(

I have a date!!

No, sadly not a valentines one, lol...

Even better than that :D

The girls social worker and family finder are coming to meet with me on Thursday 26th February!!!

I can't wait!!

A quick update

I waited until Tuesday afternoon and couldn't bear it any longer, so called the family finding social worker. She was in the middle of something important but didn't mind giving me a quick update :D

She had gone to the meeting the previous Friday to request that separate placements be sought for the girls. They came back with the decision that they must continue to look for a family to place both girls together until April (although she said she wanted to spend this time ruling out all families as she didn't think it was in the girls' best interests).

She explained that calling my link worker was on her list of things to do, and she would get round to it in the next week or so. And once they've spoken she wants to arrange to visit me with the girls' social worker. This will hopefully be sometime this month.

It seems to me that she is quite keen to meet me about the older girl, and also said that perhaps I'd impress them enough that they'd consider me for both girls together.

So I'm going to do everything I can to impress them. She mentioned therapeutic parenting, so I've ordered books on this. She's spoken about the sibling bond so I'm looking into that too. I've gone through their profile and noted how I'd match each of the points. I've called local schools to see where there are spaces, I'm going to write up lists of things to do and places to visit, I'm printing out houserules and daily timetables so they know I'm organised and can manage with three children.

And if anyone has any thoughts, ideas, online articles, book recommendations, anything to help me get my girls, please let me know! :D

Snowed under!

We woke up this morning to 7 inches of snow, and it hasn't stopped all day! The schools were shut but I didn't get the day off as I had to look after 2 little'uns. Here's my daughter and one of the kids enjoying the snow...

No news is good news?

It does seem to be the case with this social worker.

I start worrying because I haven't heard anything and then we get an update that things are still plodding onwards. So I'm hoping that the reason we didn't hear anything after their meeting on Friday is because she was out of the office all day, or went home early as it was a Friday, or was just too busy to call...

And I'm going to keep on hoping that she will call early next week (Tuesday maybe!) with the good news I have been waiting for all this time.

Fingers crossed!

Tomorrow is the date the team are meeting to discuss the plan for my possible match. My link worker said they should then contact us with a date to visit and we'll see if this is going to happen...

I really hope I have some good news to post tomorrow evening :)

A new addition to the family :)

Introducing Daisy, the newest member of our family...



She's the most gorgeous 6 month old tabby cat - I spotted the ad to rehome her the other day and as we happened to be going to the town where she was, I thought we might as well pop in to see her... I had no idea we'd end up bringing her home with us! She's so playful, and used to children, so she's fab with T and the children I mind. And it's made T so happy, she was getting quite bored and lonely on the days we don't have children here, but now she has her little playmate to keep her company. I can hear her talking to her right now and it's so sweet! :D

Wooooooo hooooooooooooo!!

Just had a call asking if I'm still interested in long term fostering the girls (well, one of them, as they're now splitting them up to better meet their needs) and if so, they'd like to meet with me!!!

I'm so excited, this is the call I was hoping for. It might be a couple of weeks before I hear any more, but I'm so happy it might actually really be happening at last!!

(And it was another Tuesday call too... spooky! lol)

TV time

I was thinking how plain my blog looks without any photos, so thought I'd upload a recent pic of my daughter (on the left) and her friend (who is only 4 days older!!) having a wonderful time eating quavers and watching Barney! They're both obsessed with the purple dinosaur and would have sat there all day if we'd let them! :D

There's something about Tuesdays!!

It seems to be the day I get my fostering news!

Last Tuesday I had a call about a placement - short term, two little ones not yet at school. I was more than willing to take them but the LA found other carers (as seems to be the case with all of the referrals I hear about).

And today I've heard that the family finder for the two children I've enquired about has requested my Form F - they have not found suitable adopters and therefore will be reviewing things in the new year... and maybe we'll be matched... oh I hope so!

Outcome of annual foster home review, and a little bit of news

I recently had my annual review, and panel have agreed to amend the ages I'm approved for, so I can now foster a child, or two children, aged between 3 and 10 (I was initially approved for ages 4 to 7, although I had really wanted any primary school age).

Also, I should expect to hear whether I'll be considered for the siblings I'm hoping to foster long term within the next three weeks.

Other than that, not a lot has been happening on the fostering front!

News at last!

I've just received news that the children's SW has been in touch with my agency. It's not quite what I wanted to hear but kind of what I already knew - they will be spending the whole of November looking for an adoptive family for the children, and will look at long term carers after their meeting at the end of the month if a suitable adoptive family isn't found.

I'm tempted to put my name forward as an adopter but I don't know if this is possible, or even if I'd be taken seriously. And then there's the issue of finances. Can a single parent afford three children??!

I just want the best for these kids and think we could be a very good family for them. Their SW seemed to think so too when I spoke to her, but I've now got a month to wait to find out if anyone 'better' has come along.

Still waiting

All I've had is calls to say my agency haven't heard anything yet.

I'm no longer hoping for a call in the next few days, I've extended it to the next few weeks. It makes the waiting a bit more bearable.

FosterCareWorld

I've been invited to join a very good site for Foster Carers:

http://fostercareworld.ning.com

Come over and take a look!

Still waiting for news

My agency have called me twice in two days (loving the contact!) but neither my link worker nor her manager have spoken to the children's social worker. I don't want to appear too pushy but I really want to know more, so have sent the SW an email to give her a gentle nudge and have left my number in case she wants to call me (hint hint). I think things would go a lot quicker if they just used me as the middle man to relay messages, we could be waiting weeks before my link worker and the children's SW are in the office at the same time!!

Cautiously hopeful

There's been a lot happening here but I've been so fed up with the whole process that I couldn't be bothered to blog it. It's always the same. I get a call about an emergency placement. I get all hopeful that they'll be placed with me. Then something happens and they don't come after all. Then I don't get any calls for a while so I start chasing things up myself from profiles I've seen and no one is interested - there's always a reason, though distance and amount of contact with birth family have been the most common recently. I've been hopeful, nervous, excited for news on at least a dozen kids since I last posted and none of those happened.

I'd exhausted my options in the fostering section on the websites so decided to have a peek at some of the kids that are looking for adoptive families. I'm not approved to adopt but I like to read about the kids and I've learnt a lot from the profiles. There's some kids I see time and time again and it makes me sad how long they've been waiting for a family.

Looking through the listings the other day I spotted a new profile. Two girls, sisters, aged 7 and 8. Everything about them made me wish I was approved to adopt. The kind of family they needed was everything I could offer. It seemed such a shame that the children that could really fit with my family were ones I wouldn't be considered for, and those that need foster placements mostly require two parent families with no younger children.

I revisited the girls' profile several times until yesterday when I decided to go for it, and clicked to register my interest. I figured the worst that could happen was being told no again.

Well, today has been a very suprising day. The family finding social worker has been in touch about the 'possible match'. First time I've been referred to as that, and first time a social worker has contacted my agency to ask about me, not the other way round! That in itself was pretty amazing, though I was worried that the social worker had read my information wrong and assumed I was an adopter. My link worker had tried to call the SW, hadn't got through and then had to leave for a meeting elsewhere. She'd forwarded me the email and me being the impatient so and so I am, decided to follow up the contact myself. I never know if this is the right thing to do but I couldn't stand not knowing for a whole weekend!!

So I called. The social worker knew my name, sounded happy I'd called, and went on to say how good a match she thought I was. Three more firsts! She told me a lot about the girls and said that although they are looking for an adoptive family they are doubtful they'll find one (mainly because of their ages), and that they would definitely be looking at possible long term foster carers. She explained that the most important thing is keeping the girls together in a family that reflects their heritage, and I can offer that. She even went on to assure me that even if adopters came forward, they wouldn't be placed before me just because they could adopt, and that the best match for the girls would still be the most important thing. She sounded very impressed with everything I said and wants to schedule a time to meet me, along with my link worker and the children's social worker. I am so excited!! I spoke to my link worker later on and told her the news, and she sounded as happy as I was.

I can't believe I'm finally being seriously considered. And I think it's pretty amazing how it happened. Maybe I've been waiting for these girls all along...