Friday, 1 May 2009

Things never go to plan do they?

After a delayed meeting (cancelled and moved forward a week) I have just heard that the girls will not be placed with me.

They are being separated.

Lil Sis has been matched with an adopter.

For Big Sis they had two foster carers lined up (myself and one other). They have decided to place her with me, and have asked if I would consider adoption, or SGO (special guardianship order).

I am incredibly happy that I have finally been matched with a child. I will do my absolute best for this little girl. The SW said all she really needs is a mummy and lots of love. I can give that, and so much more!

But I'm feeling sad.

Sad that they're splitting the sisters when I thought I could manage them both together. And sad because I think I might have been a reason behind their decision to seperate.

When I heard on Monday that they had an adopter lined up for Lil Sis but not Big Sis it broke my heart. The SW was already talking like they might be splitting them and I asked why they'd not identified an adopter for Big Sis. She said it was because no adopters had come forward. This really played on my mind. She has more issues than the rest of her siblings, and then to be the only one who wasn't being adopted, I just couldn't stand it. I called her back asked if I could be considered as an adopter for Big Sis...

So today the decision is to split. Lil Sis will go to her adopter and I have been asked if I will still consider adopting Big Sis. I have told them I am very happy to discuss it, and as long as it doesn't mean Big Sis will lose out on the support she needs, and as long as I can afford it, then it's definitely an option in my mind.

But, as another foster carer pointed out to me after I'd put my name forward, perhaps having two (possible) adopters was the easy way out for social services? Perhaps they didn't even think about placing both together, as the two being adopted saves them so much money. Have they really done what's best for the girls, or chosen the most cost effective route for the local authority?

I guess I'll never know, but I really hope this decision was made with the girls' best interests at heart.

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